Frizzo

ok so i haven't posted at all in a few days... after trying to decide which of the frogs to write about next... and working... and an awful weekend... i've decided to just throw myself back into this.

why is it that when we are children we have to keep trying to touch the stove after our parents tell us to stop? why do we actually have to burn ourselves before we really do... STOP! similarly... i returned to internet dating. the next frog was from nearby. he won me over because he had 2/3 of the trifecta.... job and car. granted he still lived at home with his parents but seriously?! ya can't have it all... right?? WRONG! yes you can... you can have your cake and eat it too! however... before i learned this lesson, i made excuses for "Frizzo."
our first date....time, place, etc....all planned by him....was on a sunday afternoon. i met him at a public parking lot to "pick me up." cue fun trivia fact.... did you know that most nascar races are held on sunday afternoons? i didn't.... very soon into the trip to jonesboro for lunch..... i learned this and that in fact many of these races are announced over the radio... i also learned that a factory radio in a chevy can acheive a pretty impressive decibel level. after very little conversation... i am prone to migraines and maintaining a migraine free life is impossible while yelling across a vehicle over a radio announcer..... we finally arrived to the restaurant.
i soon learned that my date was an overly enthusiastic employee of tool city or some variance thereof.... he proceeded to enlighten me on the latest power tools along with acceptable price ranges and functions.... blah blah blah blah blah.... I FEEL LIKE I'M LISTENING TO CHARLIE BROWN'S TEACHER RATTLE ON AND ON... I WANT TO INTERRUPT HIM AND SAY "SERIOUSLY DUDE! DO I LOOK LIKE A GIRL THAT'S EVER EVEN HELD A HAMMER!?" AT WHAT POINT DID I MAKE A FACE THAT SEEMED INTERESTED? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS!?
i will definitely have to say the best part of this date was the food.... after we finished...we got back in his car for the journey back to paragould... LUCKY ME.... the race is still being announced! he took me back to my car where i headed straight home and relived every painful screwdriver and chainsaw to my mother...
after "marinating" for a few days i decided that maybe i should have tried harder to "steer the conversation in another direction." he was...afterall...a nice guy and very cute. by this point i had decided he wasn't crazy.... and that he wouldn't kill me (we actually had a couple of mutual friends).... i decided to try pizza and a movie at my house. why i ever thought this would be a good idea i'll never know....
i had told him that i was to get off work at 7pm that night.... by 7 i actually mean 7:08. my work has some jacked up clock in and clock out policy that makes 7:08 the time to clock out... anywho... at 6:57 i received the first of approximately 8 messages asking me the following: WHEN WILL YOU BE HOME? YOU STILL GET OFF AT 7? WHAT TIME SHOULD I COME OVER? HAVE YOU ORDERED PIZZA YET? I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD ORDER PAPA JOHN'S... THAT'S MY FAVORITE! WHAT KIND OF MOVIE DO YOU WANT ME TO GET? WHAT IS YOUR EXACT ADDRESS AGAIN? ARE YOU NOT OFF WORK YET?
before i even leave the parking lot i'm regretting making this invite and wondering what exactly i can come up with to interrupt what i'm sure is to be a less than desirable date. WHERE ARE THOSE HEMOPHILIACS WHEN YA NEED THEM!? i head home and call him with all the details AGAIN! as soon as i call him he informs me that he decided that he HAD TO go to radio shack and "will be there in a little while." YOU HAVE CALLED ME 19 TIMES AND TEXT ME NEARLY AS MANY TIMES... AND YOU'RE TELLIN ME TO WAIT NOW?! HONEY PLEASE! THIS GUY APPARENTLY DIDN'T GET THE "I'M A PRINCESS AND I DO NOT WAIT" MEMO....
lucky me! he finally shows up... shortly after... so does the pizza. is it really asking so much for a guy to pick up the tab for pizza when HE picks the most expensive place in town? i would have never agreed to order $30 worth of pizza for two from papa john's had i actually contemplated that i could be paying the bill..... he didn't even flinch when i walked back across the room to get my checkbook. WOW... WHAT A FINE SPECIMEN I HAVE INVITED FOR THIS VISIT..... I STILL HAVE A MOVIE TO GET THROUGH! i pay the pizza guy and closed the door behind him... as i was shutting the door... i hear him demand.. "i'm gonna need a plate and a fork to eat that!" YOU'RE GONNA NEED A SHOVEL TO DIG THAT FORK OUTTA YOUR REAR WHEN I GET DONE BUDDY! "I'M GONNA NEED A PLATE AND A FORK..." REALLY?! CAN I SHUT THE DOOR BEFORE YOU START DEMANDING SILVERWARE? WOW.... so we are sitting and eating.... and i started the movie so as not to have to spend any more time with him than necessary. after we finished eating i took the pizza box and all utensils to the kitchen. we are watching the movie.... an activity that can typically be assumed to be painless... but then again... there is a reason you aren't suppose to ASSuME things....
about half way through the movie he looks over at me... with the most serious face... and says..."you're hair is really frizzy tonight..." SURELY IT IS TIME TO CALL AN AUDIOLOGIST... I NEED A HEARING TEST. WHAT HAS HAPPENED? THE NASCAR RACE HAS TRULY SENT ME OVER THE EDGE! of course i actually said..."huh?" if not bad enough the first time... he repeats himself..."i just said your hair is really frizzy tonight..." so as to try to make a joke out of it... i said...hahaha "no it's not!" but then he argued..."yes it is!" WOW... IT IS AT THIS MOMENT I THINK THE LORD WRAPPED HIS ARMS AROUND ME AND SQUEEZED TIGHTLY... IF HE HADN'T... I WOULD HAVE HAD MY HANDS AROUND THIS GUY'S THROAT... AND BE TYPING THIS BLOG FROM MCPHERSON'S WOMEN'S UNIT AT THE ARKANSAS DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS. OK... WHO CARES IF HE'S CUTE... WHO CARES IF HE HAS A JOB... AND WHO SERIOUSLY CARES IF HE DOES HAVE HIS ON VEHICLE..... HE LIVES AT HOME WITH HIS PARENTS AND JUST TOLD ME MY HAIR IS FRIZZY.....
i called him a few days later and told him that i really didn't think it was going to work out.. he said that he agreed and we did the whole..."it was nice to have met you" thing. just a few weeks ago he called me to see if we could go out again..... i politely declined...i mean if my hair was "frizzy" before... there is no telling what havoc the recent weather has reaked on it!